“I always battle for control in my family. My 4 year old and I just argue all the time.” (Mother of Carla)
Carla is a “willful” child. She could independently dress herself, she could organize her colors, shapes, and even read. She was an amazing leader and helper to her friends but at home with her mother she had difficulty showing her strengths without a battle.
One session, Carla and her mother explained a time when they were in the car and the road was very bumpy. Carla’s mother stated they both felt sick and Carla yelled at her mother that she was “too hot and it was too bumpy”. As to be expected Carla’s mom felt overwhelmed. She wasn’t intentionally making the car hot or bumpy and yet she was being yelled at about it.
What was she to do? I explored with Carla and her mother how to join one another in discomfort and see that the argument was between the feeling state caused by the car and the bumpy road and not between mother and daughter. I had them explore riding the waves- meaning joining the bumps and rocking together, seeing who could rock more, and how could they make the wind blow to cool down.
When Carla yelled “mom it’s too bumpy”. Her mother responded, “I agree its bumpy watch me bounce so high.” Carla laughed and together they road the bumps until they figured out how to take control over this uncontrollable situation and find relief.
Do you have a “willful” child? Are you bumping into struggles at home or in the community? Everyday I work with children of all ages and their families to help them improve these challenges and ride the bumps with laughter and support! Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Please Note: These stories are based on real moments but all names, ages, and identifying information has been changed to ensure confidentiality and safety for all individuals involved. The events are a composite of related scenarios used to illustrate the work; bringing understanding to the benefits of supporting children through a mind/body connection.
Special Thanks to The Andrea Rizzo Foundation. Dreasdream.org