“MY DAD WON’T LET ME DO THAT. HE SAYS I’M TOO LITTLE. HE SAYS THAT ABOUT EVERYTHING I TRY.” (AGE 5)
Anaya and her father came to sessions in hopes of understanding and enhancing their communication. Her father felt that she didn’t listen to him. Anaya felt like she was not good at anything – never able to accomplish tasks independently.
In one session, we worked to build trust and to identify just how likely each one could support the other. I had them face each other with hands touching. First, Anaya was asked to put her weight onto her fathers. Then continue to shift her posture until she felt completely held. Then her father was asked to try and place his weight into her hands, pressing forward in her direction. This was clearly a tricky idea since he was much bigger than her. Anaya initiated that if she sat side to side with her dad, she could have him lean on her and she felt she could hold him without falling over. Lastly, they found a mutual posture to sit in with shared body weight. The posture was a hug, holding one another with equal weight and directionality.
They spent time drawing about their different experiences in giving and taking weight, trusting one another and finding a mutual place of support. Both stated that they enjoyed being the holder more then being held. But mostly enjoyed the time when it was equal.
A month earlier in our sessions, Anaya and her dad could not figure out how to support one another in this activity. Anaya became upset when her dad leaned on her. Her dad became upset when Anaya tried to direct him. They communicated that this was too much. Just a few weeks later with additional support for sharing control and implementing strategies at home – they both could see how they had more in common then not, that they both loved being a leader and that they could co-lead.
Now, they both see the symbolism behind this nonverbal lens of looking at their relationship patterns and they have embodied a way to change their communication for the better.
Do you know parents and kids that can use support with trust and sharing control? Everyday I work with children of all ages and their families to help them improve their lives. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or call me at (310) 966-0700 to schedule your time.
Please Note: These stories are based on real moments but all names, ages, and identifying information has been changed to ensure confidentiality and safety for all individuals involved. The events are a composite of related scenarios used to illustrate the work; bringing understanding to the benefits of supporting children through a mind/body connection.
Special Thanks to The Andrea Rizzo Foundation. Dreasdream.org