“Mommy, Why are you not helping me. I need to wear a nice outfit to school, I don’t have options, you are not giving me options.” (Screaming, Lucy 7 years old).
With the last weeks of school upon us, our children are navigating lots of changes. Just when the mere thought of graduating or moving into summer is enough to spin a child into chaos – schools also create changes by having new routines, celebrations and inconsistency – anything but the normal daily schedule the children have become accustomed to. And, yes, us parents also deal with the changes and craze of the end of school – driving, planning, and more.
So when Lucy screamed at her mother at 6:40am to find her an outfit to wear to celebrate the last week of school. Her mother immediately went to her aide to solve the problem. Lucy’s mom started to take this loud, direct, and quick request as a personal stab. She started with feeling, “my child is rude, disrespectful, and then personalized the feeling “I am not organized this morning, this is my fault I am tired, maybe she is yelling because I yell, maybe I am not a good parent…” The PERSONAL spot light was bright and shining straight at her, the mom.
Fortunately, Lucy’s mother has been receiving therapeutic support to learn about Lucy’s individual differences.
She knows that:
- Lucy has an aversion to specific clothes due to the textures and conforming way they feel on her body.
- that change is not preferred for Lucy
- Lucy feel’s her best when she can share the control or even take over.
Lucy’s mother has learned that when Lucy uses or moves with Direct, Quick motions/words that Lucy’s body is not organized.
So, as her mother, she can make the interaction PURPOSEFUL!
- She notices these actions as mearly movements not defiance or disrespect.
- She then directs Lucy’s attention to the plan.
- She brings awareness to the change in this mornings’ routine
- She asks Lucy how she feels about wearing a different outfit than she typically wears everyday (and how she can bring this change of clothes to school, too).
- The two of them worked together to find 3 options and ultimately Lucy makes a choice
- (hint: her mother connects meaning to the clothing vs the feeling …ie. “Lucy, what if you wear this dress from you favorite dance recital”).
The linking memory becomes more supportive and Lucy has a way to organize her thoughts and make meaning for her ability to wear this less comfortable outfit to school. Her mother’s purposeful engagement supports Lucy to feel she is connected!
Everyday I work with children of all ages and their families to support their development, awareness and connections! For more ways to learn how to embody parenting and support your child through life, go to Drloribaudino.com
Please Note: These stories are based on real moments but all names, ages, and identifying information has been changed to ensure confidentiality and safety for all individuals involved. The events are a composite of related scenarios used to illustrate the work; bringing understanding to the benefits of supporting children through a mind/body connection.